Wunscherfüllung - Author: Nina Lee

A month after filming wrapped, hundreds of hours of footage finally begins to feel like a film. Speaking with Nathan Shields gave me a chance to understand how much of the final film is in the editor’s hands and how he has managed to illustrate the changing facets of Anna and her worldview.  

Over the past month, Shields has been piecing together a film that, until just a little while ago consisted of words on a page and snippets of scenes taking up terabytes of space. In his editing suite, he’s had nothing much more than an idea, a script, and some director’s notes and cues embedded in the footage to work with. With these details, Shields is charged with merging the script and the performances to make the director’s imagination a reality. Until now, the film had existed only in the minds of a few people. Using the idea of wunscherfüllung, or wish-fulfillment, Shields had a clear direction to start editing the film.

A non-linear story, Drowning constantly switches between real life and Anna, our protagonist’s imagination. Anna is a woman who has lost control of her autonomy, her life, and even where she lays her head at night. So out of control is she in her life, her only opportunity to have any control is in her dreams. She strives for power at a time when she has none. This need to fulfill her wishes is a common theme in psychoanalysis. Originally coined by Freud in 1900, wunscherfüllung or wish-fulfillment occurs when unconscious desires stemming from guilt and societal taboos are repressed in daily life. Dreams are attempts by the unconscious to resolve these repressed conflicts. Sounds simple enough. But how does this idea translate into film? 

The various dream-like sequences were filmed in a different style compared to the real-life shots, explained Shields. Using a shallow focus and close-up shots spinning around the actors convey a sense of vertigo and loss of control, while harsh cuts between these scenes and real-life give audiences a sense of awakening to the harsh light of reality. In comparison, Shields brings audiences into Anna’s fantasies and dreams gently, as if we were drifting into a restful sleep. Using simple cutting techniques, rather than dramatic colour distinctions he avoids distracting the audience and creates a clear and simple flow to the story.

Anna’s need to sleep is vital. Long have we known about the importance of sleep - it helps reset our internal clocks, allows us to heal contusions and other physical ailments, it helps your heart and other organs function properly, reduces inflammation, and helps us focus and concentrate. But our dreams are just as important to our mental health as sleep is to our physical well-being. When we dream, we have a chance to unconsciously fulfill our wishes and hopes, which are often based on our daily activities. This ability to unconsciously consider our past experiences offers us an outlet, it gives us freedom when we are held captive. However, interpreting our desires through our dreams is a practice of imperfect methods. A wriggling fish could symbolize personal struggle just as easily as it could symbolize a penis or even a player’s astrological sign. What is known, however, is how our dreams help us release pent up feelings that we generate when we are awake. 

Stills from the film 'Drowning'

Stills from the film 'Drowning'

Link to IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6951870/

Blatant Self-Promotion

        Does anyone have any advice on blatant self-promotion? I know that nowadays self-promotion is as common as breathing, but I’m still not comfortable with it. After about six years of work on two separate projects, they are both done at around the same time and now I’m required to promote and pitch new projects, which is something I’ve never come to terms with. I used to believe you put your project out there and people will see it, and if it’s good enough you’ll get more work. The rules of the game have shifted and it kind of feels that everyone in the world is screaming ‘Look at me! Look at me!’ and no one is listening. It’s a strange time indeed.

        I need to get over myself, my shyness, my self-esteem issues, my self-doubt, and yell and scream ‘Look at me!’ just like everyone else is, but maybe there’s another way. I’m much more comfortable with saying ‘Look over here if you feel like it…’ so maybe that’s what I’ll have to do. I’ll start posting more often as the release dates get closer. I’m also going to reach out to friends who are good at self-promotion and use their advice to create a path forward. If you’re good at marketing and promotion please send me some words of wisdom. How do you promote yourself without burning out your network? How do you build new networks outside your bubble and move on to the next stage of your work? I’m still afraid of selfies and blatant self-promotion but maybe I can find a way to promote others who worked on the projects instead of myself. Perhaps the best way to promote yourself is to promote the people who make it possible for you to do your thing. Hopefully, that might be a better way forward. 

      I’ve spent most of my life blocking my face in group shots and selfies. Maybe it’s time to just look towards the camera and smile.

Drowning Film Teaser

Special thanks to the cast and crew of Drowning. The film is now finished. We’re looking to have screenings early next year with an online digital release sometime in spring 2019. 

Letting Go

The hardest and easiest thing to do is to let go of a project once it’s finally done. There will always be the year or two of blatant promotion once a film is finished but mentally it’s time to focus on blank pages again and hit the restart button. I plan to spend six months to a year thanking people. When I was checking all the names in the credits of the film I became overwhelmed by the amount of names. Over a hundred people where involved in the creation of the film ‘Drowning.’ How do you thank everyone properly? How to make sure everyone knows you’re grateful? Thanking one crew member at a time is the best way to make sure they know.

There is a moment that I used to live for. A moment that can take several years to reach depending on the project. When the film is finally finished; colour corrected with the final sound mix. That one moment where you see the final film, where the project becomes bigger than the sum of it’s parts. It’s a moment of awe where you watch the film and wonder, How did we do that? How did all these people work together and finish this film? One moment of wonder followed by the desperate need to never see the film again. It’s only natural; you’ve worked on something for so long that you only see the mistakes and the might-have-beens, that you can’t help but want to put it on the shelf and move on. That one moment though, the final viewing of the completed film where you forget all the mistakes and problems and soak in the sense of an ending. It’s worth the wait. Then you let go and run away screaming to the next project. 

A blank page looks at me now. It stares at me and smiles. Letting go of a completed project used to be hard. It used to leave an empty space that needs to be filled. A blank page is the new moment I wait for. A flashing curser surrounded by an empty white screen. At this moment anything is possible and no mistakes have been made yet. I’ll hold on to the blank pages for a few more days and then eventually I’ll have to let go of that too. Finish, let go and move on. Finish, let go and move on. The more you let go of, the easier it is to move on. 

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6951870/

Stills from the film ‘Drowning’: 

Character Design

       One of the most exciting parts of writing is character design. Once the characters are created, they begin to speak to you and the story begins. A long time can be spent just writing down character traits, character flaws and creating character goals. Having a rough visual image of what a character might look like helps make a story come to life as you’re writing. If you can create environments for the characters to live in, those environments can provide the final push you need to define goals and dreams of a character. Stories grow and change over time, as you bring in new artists to finalize the character designs the characters take on a life of their own. 

Below are samples from the character designs that have been done over the last few years for Painting My Life.  www.pmlcomic.com

Lead Character Evolution: Alice

Samples of Environments: Courtyard

Samples of Environments: Painting Studio

Early Gargoyle Designs:  

Anna's Diary - Drowning

With time running out before casting the film, I realized that there would not be much prep time for the actors. I needed to find a way to build a character study into an easy-to-read format for an actor who may only have a week of prep on a complex character, so I decided to write a diary for the lead character of Anna in the film Drowning. Ever since my 2010 film Measuring Tape Girl, which was basically a video diary, I’ve been using character diaries as a way to build characters for the stories I’ve been writing. Usually no one ever sees the diaries and it’s an just an exercise in character development. With the film Drowning’s compressed casting-to-shooting time it seemed like the only solution to creating a character bible in a short time span. The sixty-page diary was created over about two months and then handed off to the actor once the film was cast. The plan is that this will help create a short hand between the actor and I on set, where we can directly refer to page numbers in diary for different scenes. Directly putting us into the head of the character when we won’t always have time to have long discussions on character creation. Hopefully this allows us to create a character in the short time provided, without losing any depth and background required to build a back story that the actor can build on.

Link to Measuring Tape Girl: